Is Hyperbole Gay?

I, like a great number of gays, enjoy exaggerating about things.  We basically invented Internet Inches.  But I would like to point out for the world that we did not invent hyperbole. To wit, there is an expression, “I am so happy I could kiss you right now.”  This is usually said when kissing would likely be seen as inappropriate.

Well, Manchester United’s Gary Neville was so happy after Paul Scholes scored a goal that he kissed him right on the lips.

Like Jim Buzinski at OutSports, I really didn’t think anything about this.  But apparently people are freaking out and talking about how this is some huge statement.  What it’s a statement of seems to be a matter of debate where some think Mr. Neville was protesting homophobia while others think he was professing his deep abiding love for his ginger playmate.  (I can’t say I’d blame him, really.)

Ok, but, seriously?

I can’t find a video of the kiss, but from the pictures I’ve seen, it looks like Mr. Neville was simply being crazy when he planted a closed-mouth kiss on Mr. Scholes.  It’s not sexual or romantic.

Compare:

kisses

To me, it is abundantly clear that Mr. Neville’s kiss is just silliness in the spirit of enthusiasm at the sport. He’s goofing off. I think those people who read more than that into his intent are really even more silly.

For really, that is not gay right there.  (Although, I really wouldn’t object to Mr. Scholes trying that on me. Mr. Neville… not so much.)

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