Trey Givens

Perhaps it’s because my political views are so radical and my views on any particular issue may be in incidental agreement with those of the Republican Party or the Democratic Party, I find conversational partisanship extremely annoying.

Here’s an example from Passive-Aggressive Notes:

Although, in my direct, personal experience it is more common for Democrats to cast about this sort of generalized, ignorant, snot-nosed, insulting non sequitur, Republicans get their digs in, too.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea
what to make of your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it’s MY fault!

My apologies for not pulling up an example of something a bit more commonplace.  This blog post is inspired by an IM conversation I had this weekend with someone, a Democrat, who does this sort of thing constantly, and then that post on Passive-Aggressive Notes.

The annoying thing about the person with whom I was chatting this weekend is that he is constantly arguing that I should be more open-minded.  I have no capacity for open-mindedness in the sense that he seems to mean when I ask him to explain it, but it doesn’t strike me as very open-minded to just generalize about people you don’t know because someone like them did something you don’t like.

“You must be Republican if you take up two parking spaces.”

To which a Republican might reply, “Since Democrats are communists and socialists and think everything belongs to everyone, you must be a Democrat if you take up two spaces.”

“If you’re gay, you must be a Democrat.”

To which a Democrat might say, “If you’re married and gay, you must be a Republican.”

It’s all so ridiculous and obnoxious.

The fact of the matter is that neither Democratic nor Republican parties accurately or consistently represent any guiding principles in any very intelligible way.  The Democratic party claims to support freedom and liberty, but they advocate nationalized health care which is effectively enslavement of doctors and taxpayers alike.  The Republican party claims to support property rights, but they oppose gay marriage, which is primarily an issue of property rights.  The Republican party claims to support free markets but have, for the past several decades shouldered business with more and more onerous regulations, taxes, and stultifying rules.  The Democratic party claims to be in support of small businesses and the common man and yet they are constantly trying to raise the minimum wage, assist unions, and enact all sorts of social programs which put everyone, especially small businesses and the common man, under incredible, even fatal strain.

But the lack of consistency in the party at large does not translate directly to the individuals who care to apply those labels to themselves.  Not every Republican is against gay marriage, the EPA, immigration, abortion, and national health insurance.  Not every Democrat is a tree-hugging, dirt-worshipping socialist with jungle fever and a hybrid Vespa scooter.

Forget all that and let’s just get down to the point: if you are a devout follower of one party or another, I do not care what your beef is with the opposition.  You’re at least as wrong as they are, which is to say you’re probably completely wrong.

I’m very willing to be polite to people and help them find rational support for some of their complaints on a wide number of topics.  Are you pissed off that the Republicans want to make fetuses slavemasters over those whose wombs they occupy? I am outraged with you.  Do you hate Rachel Maddow for being a snarky, sarcastic, obtuse, snob with really cute hair? I’m right there with you except I love the color of her hair. Is the idea of bailing out failing businesses offensive to your free-market sensibilities? I say that same thing!

But if you’re going to just say, “This douchebag took up two parking spaces, so he must be a Republican,” or “She did gay porn to cover her crack habit, so she must be a Democrat,” then I’m probably not going to entertain you for long because I think both parties suck and I like gay porn.